A therapist’s thoughts on
mental health

  • Focus vs Distraction

    A foggy ocean view with a pair of binoculars and distant sailboat.

    A thousand and one things grab at our attention and focusing takes more work than ever. There’s already plenty of advice out there for how to maintain focus by turning off/putting away as many sources of distraction as possible. But it’s not just social media and news feeds. It’s also the things outside of ourselves that, in some way or another, we want to attend to. The friend we haven’t called, the soup kitchen we haven’t volunteered for, the global catastrophe that is probably too big for us to do anything about, or is it?

    When does ignoring distraction become ignoring parts of ourselves? What if the thoughts and feelings pulling for our focus are not necessarily static to be turned down, but actually signal that there is something undone in our lives? What if, what we call focus, is just another form of inattentiveness?

  • How to stay calm right now, and is that even ok?

    In my adolescence, I saw, for the first time, that cris de couer bumper sticker: If You’re Not Outraged, You’re Not Paying Attention. Man oh man, did that speak to me. At the time I thought every inequity in our rich nation was a result of previous generations being too lazy or uncaring to have fixed things. I was a rebel without a cause, and not really with that much actual rebellion either. But my heart was on the barricades. What barricades? Where? I just knew I wanted revolution. But I sure didn’t know how to get there or what would come next. As an old guy, I, of course, now realize that life rarely fits on a bumper sticker, but there’s something that still feels significant about that phrase.

    If you’re not outraged, you’re not paying attention. Certainly the world, even at its most peaceful moments, is full of outrages, and this is far from one of the most peaceful moments. In the bumper sticker, I find the suggestion that we’re supposed to be paying attention and therefore supposed to be outraged, presumably because our outrage will lead to some sort of social change. I don’t think the message is meant to be interpreted as a suggestion of how best to avoid outrage.

    It feels like people are way more outraged these days compared to when I first encountered the bumper sticker. Also people are paying way more attention to things outside of their immediate surroundings. We get news feeds from every corner of the world now, much of it very very upsetting. We are mad at each other and this is often expressed in soundbites that are approximately as long and thoughtful as bumper stickers are.

    So how do we maintain our mental health in the midst of the chaos all around us? How do we stay calm? Should we even have this as a goal? Perhaps we have a moral duty to be outraged, and therefore to try to improve the world. Or is that outrage just burning us out, leaving us spent and impotent?

  • Is Therapy Healthcare? (Part 1 of ?,???)

    This is a topic to turn over again and again. Are therapists healthcare providers? We sure use a lot of language that sounds medical. We talk about symptoms and their treatment. We sometimes refer to people in therapy as patients. Many of us accept health insurance, which comes with diagnosis.
    We call this the medical model, and it can be helpful. It can help define goals and the scope of therapy. If it wasn’t medical, insurance wouldn’t cover it, and this can mean the difference between having access to therapy or not.
    But where does this leave the rest of the human experience? What about Spirituality? Culture? Your place in society? Therapy touches on these things, but they are not medical. What about that fundamental human experience: having the foreknowledge of our deaths? You do not need to be sick, or even disordered, to fear the inevitable. So what are we when we work in this arena? Are we providing healthcare, or something else entirely?
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